oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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