Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize