I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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