maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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