please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize