I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize