I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize