ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
