I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
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We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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