I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
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so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
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Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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