Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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