I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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