the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I wish you could order shots online.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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