don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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