We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
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