The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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