ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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