after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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