so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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