well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
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there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
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my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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