So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize