Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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