what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
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i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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