i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I still have a little drunk in my system
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize