Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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