So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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