I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize