I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
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