You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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