Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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