if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize