Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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