OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
