So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
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