sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
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You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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