the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
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While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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