sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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