I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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