Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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