Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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