I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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