I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize