I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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