a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize