Kiss
Puke
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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