Don't you send me to vm
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize