I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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