is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize