There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize