where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
