White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize