So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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