So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
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Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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